I am yoga (and so can you!)

Isn't it fun listening to people talk about how much they love yoga?

Sometimes, I'll find myself being asked a certain type of question ("Why yoga? How has it changed you? What's the best part about it?") and it's all I can do to stumble through a coherent response without throwing up in my mouth. Because honestly, nobody can talk at length about yoga and its many spiritual and physical benefits without sounding like a fluffy, idol-worshipping lunatic.

The way I usually try to get around this is to focus on the practical, tangible results of a regular yoga practice. Often I'll say something along the lines of: "I have so much more energy now," or, my personal favorite: "Yoga's just so easy because you can do it on your own."

These kinds of answers are good because they are non-threatening and, when executed with skill and the obligatory self-deprecating follow-up remark, they tend not to make you come across as borderline psychotic.

They are not so good because they are lies.

Okay, the energy thing -- maybe on the whole that's not totally false. Sometimes I do feel more energetic. Sometimes I don't. But I'm inclined to believe this has more to do with whether or not I've slept sandwiched between two fidgeting dogs, turning endless circles between my shins or snoring heavily on my head, or how many gallons of coffee I've managed to intravenously inject into my veins before 9 am, than how many Warriors and Triangle Poses I've done that day.

And the "It's great because you can do it on your own" defense? While theoretically this is true, in reality, it's crap. Sure, after you've learned enough of whatever sequence you've been practicing in class, or, in the case of Astanga and me, had the entire Primary Series beat into your brain so that you start dreaming in sanskrit and struggling to remember whether or not there's a vinyasa after the seventeenth forward bend -- when you get it all down, then yes, technically, because there is no necessary equipment involved, you can do it at home on your own.

Technically.

And technically, if you ask me, "Hey Alex, how's your at-home yoga practice going?" I will probably say it's going swell! I practice every day! Thanks for checking in!

And I will pretty much be lying. Because even though I do try every day to throw on some yoga pants (Another practical defense! Who doesn't love yoga pants?) and roll out the mat to practice, most of the time it's a slightly less productive practice than if I had gone to a class or done the entire 90-minute series with a partner.

And by this I mean it's not uncommon for me to do three to five sun-salutations and call it a day.

Case in point: While on vacation last week, as punishment for making me eat nothing but tofu and twigs, I convinced Lauren to do the entire Primary and/or Intermediate Series with me every single morning we were there. (It didn't hurt that our only daily obligation was to sit by the pool or try on sunglasses at Target.)

In the five days since I've been home, if you add up all of the time I've spent locked in my room with a yoga mat (so as to decrease the chances of a dog eating my hair while I'm upside down) then maybe -- maybe -- it would equal one full 90-minute practice.

The moral of this story is not that I'm a liar. It's that I'm lazy. But even lazy people can make yoga a part of their lives. And that, my friends, is why I love yoga.

There, see? I only threw up a little bit that time. You?