eat it, write it a letter, take it for a walk.

On our way back from New Hampshire this weekend, the Boy and I stopped at a Super WalMart in Plymouth. What makes an average WalMart Super, you ask? Why, Subway and an Auto Body Shop, which perfectly suited our needs yesterday as we were:

A. Driving a car with a dead battery, requiring it to be jumped at every stop, and
B. Starving.

What Super WalMart sadly lacks is a waiting area for those traveling with pets. So, in order to kill the forty-five minutes it took to replace the battery, we took turns doing loops around the parking lot with the dogs and going inside to look at all the stuff.

Every time I venture off of this island and end up wandering the aisles of one of these massive, florescent megastores, I am immediately rendered useless. Much like a child lost in the woods, if the woods played contemporary soft-rock and were always on sale.

I roam aimlessly from one department to the other, never quite sure what I need. Because, with so much stuff everywhere, surely I must need something.

Turns out, what I needed yesterday were three avocados and a magazine, while the Boy needed a pair of work boots, some tools and a putting practice kit. (Boy wins again.)

After my second time returning to the parking lot empty-handed, I was promptly sent back inside to pick out a new dog collar. I scanned the various signs and smiley-faces and quickly found a fish-tank. Thinking I was on the right track I headed over, only to learn that fish are "Small Pets" and, as such, are found in the "Small Pet" department, along with the fifty-pound sacks of bird seed and turtle mazes. (Yes, turtle mazes. Please keep up.)

I rounded a corner and found a friendly greeter who informed me that dogs are Large Pets, and that I would find the Large Pet Department "clear across the store."

He made a motion with his hands, like he was about to pass a football and telling me to go long, really long. Then, for clarity's sake (I must have looked like someone in desperate need of clarity at this point,) he added:

"You can't miss it. It goes Candy, Stationery, Large Pets."

But isn't that always how it goes?